Home

Advertisement

Customize
You Think You Know...
People can take anything away from you
But they can never take away your truth
But the question is,
Can you handle mine?
Mini-Calendar!
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031
Dec. 15th, 2004 @ 12:03 am Thinking Optimistic
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: Another One Bites The Dust
So as usual another one bites the dust... That should be my theme song... It seems like I hit five months with a guy and then something goes wrong and we break up... But hey all i can do is look back at the time I had w/ him and think about the fact that we never fought and i always had fun when I was with him... So i am sad about it, but all I can do is smile and move on, and hopefully he knows he'll always have a special place in my heart and hopefully we can still be friends, cause in the words of him "you don't just stop loving someone"... Hopefully he meant that... Love You Chuck! All I can do is smile...
...But You Have No Idea...
Nov. 17th, 2004 @ 11:55 am Life Now
Current Mood: loved
Current Music: Flaming Lips- Do You Realize
Sooo... Haven't written in awhile... Well I get to go home tuesday for thanksgiving... I really don't like thanksgiving, i have never liked the holiday i just don't get it i guess, but any day that i get off from classes and i get to home and see my man, my fam, and my friends is cool with me... I can't wait until this semester is over... no more psu bye bye... i'm just over plattsburgh, i'm gonna miss my friends up here but i can't stand my apartment and i really don't think social work is the major for me and i think that i have just about gone through any major that has appealed to me that is offered from this school... I hope for next semester that i can get an apartment with chuck that'd be hot... i really wish i knew what i wanted to do with my life... i feel like such a loser, but hey at least i'm in college... i haven't given up on going to school yet, which is good... i just need a change of scenery and a new school and maybe that'll inspire me... I've been thinking about different things that i think i would find interesting and i have thought about a guidance counselor, a probation or parole officer, a substance abuse counselor, or something with animals which is completely off category from everything else... i can't wait until tuesday... i was just home on monday and now i can barely wait a week to go home... that's love for ya... I'm so excited b/c i only have 4 official days of class left, then a week of finals... so my days left in plattsburgh total is: 19, its sounds better when i say i only have a class day a weekend a class day, then break, a week, a weekend and finals rather than 19 days i have to spend here... I gotta start looking for an apartment for next semester, i don't know how the hell i'm gonna afford it, i hope chuck decides to live with me or melissa or someone so it'll cut costs in half... i can't wait for tuesday melis, chuck and i are gonna have one tree hill night... it was supposed to be me and mel but chuck and i haven't hung out with mel ina while so hes commin' too even though he has no clue what he's in for... thats another thing, i feel so bad b/c chuck and i do stuff together and i wanna do stuff with melissa too but then john wants to do stuff and since they're not together anymore and john is seein' some other girl its hard to find a balance... its hard being stuck in the middle... and its so weird to hang out with john and liz b/c i can't help being like um thats supposed to be john and melissa... its supposed to be best friends dating best friends!... wow i just went off on a tangent... except for plattsburgh, which will soon no longer be in my life hopefully, i like where my lifes at... i'm still indecisive about what i wanna do with school but i'm starting to piece things together but i have a great boyfriend who is the sweetest and cutest boy in the world, i have the coolest best friend in the world (melissa), and my boyfriend's best friend has become a great friend (John) and my family is still awesome... Its weird to stop and think about where i was and what i was doing and who i was hanging out with a few years ago, i don't miss it at all... well i'm freezing, [insert chuck's voice: "your always cold, i'm buying you a heating blanket"]... sorry this entry was so weird i just felt like venting about school, and admiring where my life is now... ONE... hahah GHETTO 4 LIFE... RIIIGHT! Can we say RIDICULOUS? GET A LIFE!
...But You Have No Idea...
Chuck and Kara
Jul. 28th, 2004 @ 09:32 pm steamy
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: a favor house atlantic- coheed and cambria
You know... i've found this new found joy in working out, and i found that it really helps me get rid of headaches... i did 16 milies on the bike tonight then hit the steam room... the steam room is wodnerful because it gets all the toxins out of your skin!!! alright well i'm kinda tired and i gotsta work tommorrow... peace oxox
...But You Have No Idea...
Jul. 27th, 2004 @ 11:19 pm happy shoppaholic "..." feet
Current Mood: jubilant
Current Music: a favor house atlantic- coheed and cambria
Did you know that i have fun, cute blue feet?... Well its a short time till i go back to school... it still seems like it will never come... i'm so sick of waitressing... ha but when i go to school i need to find a job... what better than bartending and waiting tables downtown... i'm never going to be able to escape this... hopefully i can just get a job at american eagle to support my shopping habbit... ha! i'll be working to aid an addiction-- shopping... hmmm i always thought what stupid people who just work to aid their drug habbit... shopping is kind of like drugs, it a major addiction... its sad really... i can justify the purchase of anything i buy, i may never ever use it, but i still have to have it... i just noticed that i do this "..." a lot... hahah there i go again... this entry has made no sense, all i know is that i have happy, cute, fun blue feet, i am a shoppaholic, and that i do this "..." a lot ;)

Night y'all... OXOX
...But You Have No Idea...
Jul. 3rd, 2004 @ 11:17 am a day in july
Ok... so what to do... go to dave tonight and blow off work... or don't go to dave tonight and stay home all day and wait to go bartend at 9... hmmm... i like how my life is so simple at the moment that this is my only major dillema... ahhh gotta love it... played darts w/ Mans, jules, jules' boyfriend mike and his friend chris last night... had a blast... first friday night where i'm not schloppin' drinks together or saying "Hi welcome to the ________, my name is Kara and i will be your waitress tonight, can i start you off with something to drink?" Someone told me that they hate when their waitress/waiter says "Enjoy" or "Enjoy your meal"... Ever since i have been trying to think of things to tell people other than "Enjoy"... I've stumbled upon "Have a great meal"... and "I hope you digest properly"... anyways... I think I'm gonna go biking w/ Mans... I'm shooting for 7 miles... woo hoo... maybe i will hit china... remember when you were little and you thought everywhere far lead to china... hahah... Later... I'm off to china... :)
...But You Have No Idea...
Apr. 7th, 2004 @ 10:55 pm sick
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Meet You There- Simple Plan
Hey guys...

Sorry i haven't updated since January 5th, but i dont even think anyone cares... also sorry i'm updating just to complain... i have the flu right now and i feel like complete poo... i got accepted into the social work major so now i'm not El. Ed. anymore... I'm excited so i start all that stuff next semester... alright that is currentely like now i'm goin to bed... night y'all
...But You Have No Idea...
Jan. 5th, 2004 @ 02:30 am yeah yeah long awaited
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Tom Petty- Free Fallin'
So i'm updating... well i had the desire to update then i got into this and my mind went blank... i really don't know what to say... i'm beginning to think no one cares anyways... ONE
...But You Have No Idea...
Oct. 25th, 2003 @ 12:34 am poem of the day (#2)...
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Something Corporate- Space
The poem for the day is "Old Me" by Janice Erlbaum. This poem is featured in a really good book called "Versus That Hurt: Pleasure and Pain from the Poemfone Poets." This book contains this poem and other kick ass work by a whole array of poets.

'Old Me'
"Hello it's me--yes, you, us
again, it's me again, hello,
old me, same me from mirrors
and other optical phenomena
so here we are again, having
conversations alone, like we
were sixteen and tripping on acid
in a deli! And there we were,
do you remember? And we were
rapturous to see me, as we'd
often hoped and suspected me
there, and we touched he finger
to the mirror with overjoy and
understanding, knowing nobody
knows what we know and i'm
glad we're together now, let's
say how things really are for us.
I love you. I miss you all the time.
I'm sorry things are so tough.
Oh god i'll see you later. And
so I was my halo, my body's subtle
self, and went bereft for weeks
without me, then feeling me step
suddenly into my absence like
an ocean entering a room, a bird
landing in its own shadow and
taking flight, until I leanred to live
without you. So now i'm not you
anymore. I'm me, though it's still
us, it'll always be us, and I do feel
fondly, even with the disaters,
tender
everyt time we emanate together
and
wonder, I've thought you were a
chimer, or a penumbra, or a
word
you're not sure what it mean but
you use anyway, and which one is
me,
and if you are apocryphal like the
fiction, I wonder why you disavow
me, and who it is I think I see
standing
two feet deep in the mirror
tonight.
Hello. Who is this again. I'm me.
It's us, and it's been so long."
...But You Have No Idea...
Oct. 23rd, 2003 @ 01:03 am poetry day...
Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: Taking back sunday: cute eithout the e (cut from the team)
Hey guys i decided i'm gonna start a new thing to try and help me out when i'm feeling depressed. There's a little background to it so bare with me... In high school one of my teachers and i decided that when we were having a bad day it was always nice to pick a poem for the day and read it and this developed into what we now call "Poetry Days." I've decided to kinda put a spin on that. It helps me to deal with my emotional pain when i write poetry so i've decided that when i'm having a poetry day i'm either going to write a poem and post it in my journal or find a poem for that day. So to start it off here is the first poem. I just wrote it tonight. Enjoy...

to be me... by Sweetie Pea

What's wrong with you?
it's the same question
that's always asked
that's actually expected
to get an answer

Haven't you ever been blue?
prolly not
look at you
look at me
eyes move

What are you lookin' at?
Can you see
it
can you see
me

You think you found it?
the cause of
my problems
fill me in 'cause
i sure as hell wanna
know

Figure me out yet?
kinda hard
a lil bit tough
no one said it was easy

to be you lookin at me
and
me lookin at you
to be you
to be me
...But You Have No Idea...
Oct. 7th, 2003 @ 12:14 pm i dont know?
Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: OLP- Innocent
well i sat down toupdate last night and go side tracked so i decided i'd do it today. Well i think i'm gonna go home for the weekend becuase i'm really homesick, i miss my mom and dad. so i'm gonna try and get home thursday afternoon i think. well, i got my tongue pierced and i told my mom, she wasn't as upset as i thought she'd be she was joking about it, she was like "where did i go wrong?" "just kidding!" hahah so she didn't really care. shes really proud of me that i'm doing as well as i am this semester, i'm really proud of myself and really happy i'm making her happy. well i think i'm gonna go lay down i think i'm getting sick again. alright bye for now
...But You Have No Idea...
Sep. 9th, 2003 @ 10:52 am Back At School
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Something Corporate- Konstantine
Well this is gonna be short... This is the start of my 3rd week back at school. I've fallen for my friend Tony, but I'm not sure if i want to get into a relationship with a friend because its never the same after and i don't know if he even feels the same way, he doens't say much and i have a lot of work already tons of reading, i haven't really started to stress yet and i really want to move off campus next semester... alright i'm going to go shower! Oh yeah and I havent missed any classes yet!!! Yeah me! Love You All!!! PEACE
...But You Have No Idea...
Aug. 17th, 2003 @ 11:31 pm Home and Loving it!
Current Mood: giddy
Current Music: Avril- Losing Grip (it's in the car)
Hi everyone, I'm home. Mexico wasn't as great as I thought it would be, it was okay, not someplace I would vacation regularly. I came home with these weird bug bites that first looked like mosquito bites, now they don't look like mosquito bites anymore and they itch like friggin' crazee! Oh it was so sad there, I had like meals left over from restaurants and i didn't want to throw it away so i would give it to people on the street, i felt so good for giving yet so sad becuase i couldn't give more. And some of these people had little babies. It crushed me.
I got back from Cali monday at 1:05 am (well technically tuesday.)
Oh my! We were 37 passengers overweight on the plane!!! (Which our weight on the plane was as if 37 more peolpe than alloted had gotten on the plane.) Well because if this we were 45 mins late taking off from Las Vegas and I had already been sitting at the Las Vegas airport because i got in from LAX 3 hrs before that. So i sat next to some really cool people luckily! Well since we were 37 passengers overweight, we wouldnt' have enough fuel to get to albany so get this!... We had to stop in OMAHA, NEBRASKA to re-fuel!
So wednesday night I got to hang out with Bryan... I missed him sooooo much!!!... We ran to his brothers to get his cell and his wallet he left there, then we ran to his house and I finally got to meet his parents, it was very exciting lol, they're very nice people. Then we went to D & D which is apparently the frickin hang out for little teenie boppers who think theyr'e shit doesn't stink... Then from there we went back to my house and watched Don't Tell Mom The Babysitters Dead and My Big Fat Greek Wedding... Then friday night i went over to Melsi's house for a BBQ with the Crew, it was soooo good to see everyone!!! People there: Mel, Tree, Meagan, Hendrix, Chris, Paul, Zack, Steve, Dave and Ben showed up like after everyone left. I stayed over because I drank (DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!!!) It was so funny Zack and Chris schooled everyone in Beer Pong! Then I schooled everyone in Spoons, I didn't miss a spon once, but I think tree is the master of hideing the fact that he's picked up a spoon! I didn't even realize half the time that he'd picekd up a spoon and i was sitting right next to him. It was funny because earlier that evening before we started drinking Tree was like "Kara i think this is the first i've hung out with you and you haven't been drunk yet" and everyone is like "Yeah thats not the Kamikazee we know!!!" LOL. Justin was out of town so he couldn't make the party which was a bummer.
So saturday Mel and i went to Beki's diner for breakfast at 2:00 in the afernoon lol, and i guess my like cousin who i haven't seen in forever is workign there so i got to see her which was cool, then Mel and i went to the mall b/c we haven't been there in forever and we saw Doug and i got to listen to how Messy of an employee i was at Mrs. Fields... Err whatever Doug! I made a mess, yah, but I always cleaned it up and who stayed late saturdays to do your paper work? HUH??!?!? LOL anyways! Well today I helped waitress for my Uncle. Then while i was there i broke a nail so i had to go get that fixed so i ddi that at the mall and stopped to see 'Coley and played with the cutest St. Bernard, awww she was soooo fluffy!!! And now i'm here writing in my Live journal, mentally preparing myself for the packing ahead of me tommorrow!!! LOL
Well, it's been fun as always!!! I'll up date soon, prolly next time will be when i'm at school, woo-hoo!!! Alright take care y'all!!! *MUAH* ~ONE~
...But You Have No Idea...
Aug. 7th, 2003 @ 08:12 pm almost home... almost to school
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Hillary Duff- So Yesterday
Well i'm going to Rosarito, Mexico tomorrow, saturday and sunday and then i'm leaving cali on monday to fly home... yeah!!! im so excited, i miss my family and my friends... i'm really happy b/c tony has decided to come back to school which is cool b/c he's a lot of fun... it also sucks because there is a bunch of people who aren't comming back... i'm hoping i'm going to get an apartment for spring semester, that would kick ass, and i'm bringing my car up this semester so thats great, and i'm going to try not to smoke at school, i was doing so well with quitting until i got out here lol... oh well... well i miss everyone and i can't wait to see you all... *muah* i'm outtie
...But You Have No Idea...
Jul. 29th, 2003 @ 07:47 pm i dont know
Current Mood: numb
Current Music: Janes Addiction- Jane Says
well i got my long awaited letter from john. We won't be getting back together. i wrote a pissed off letter back to him and not becuase i wanted to get back together but because he is a hypocrit, a liar and is selfish. he also had the nerve to write "I'M WILLING TO STILL BE FRIENDS" so i said to him, "wow you are willing to still be friends with me thats so generous of you, let me bow down and kiss your feet... um no... i don't want to be friends with people who are selfish liars... screw youa nd everything we ever had if it was even ther to begin with" and that was just the end to the letter... i need a hug... and a cigarette...
...But You Have No Idea...
Jul. 9th, 2003 @ 09:03 pm Andy...
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Mandy Moore and New Radicals- Someday We'll Know
so i talked to andy last night for the first time in months. it was good to hear from him, but i'm not ready for a friendship with him right now and i don't know when i will be, but someday we'll know... i'm so proud of him for getting in to ny film school academy or whatever its called... andy just stick with it, stay focused and most of all believe in yourself and dont let anyone come in the way of you and your dreams... i know you can do it!!!

..."Someday we'll know why Sampson loved Delila"...
...But You Have No Idea...
Jul. 8th, 2003 @ 07:21 pm bored.*...*...*...
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: veruca salt- spiderman 79
i'm so bored!!! i just got home from work a little while ago and i swear i freaking called everyone in my phone book... i was quite happy to receive a voice mail from tony today, it was nice to hear from him, a good friendly school voice, and the coolest part is he said he was gonna call and he did... so this weekend was a fucking blast saturday and sunday i spent at the beach it was great... that shitty burn i had has now turned into a beautiful tan, yeah me! oh yeah i got my hair highlighted last week, it looks awesome and its gotten even lighter from being out in the sun... oh and i learned how to body surf at the beach this weekend, it is sooo cool... man i have totaly faced my fear of the ocean i like wanna be there everyday now... well i can't wait till friday, i think i'm going to a spa this weekend and then possibly to magic mountain on sunday... yeah good news!!! i think there's a good chance bryan is going to come and visit me out here!!! woo woo!!! it should be the last week i'm here so he can fly back with me, i really hope he comes, i miss him much much much!!! well i'm off... to do waht i do not know because i am BORED!
...But You Have No Idea...
Jul. 5th, 2003 @ 08:25 am its 8:25 on a saturday and i'm awake...
there is something wrong with me, i woke up on my own at 8:25 on a saturday... wow... i guess this is a start to a whole day you can utilize... man i woke up and my face hurts my arms hurt everything is red, i think my eyelids are even burnt lol... i think i may want to go to the beach today, walk on the boardwalk, it'd kick ass, the sun is shinning bright already, june gloom is deffinetely gone! well i have to pee so i'm gonna go... have a beautiful day, *muah*
...But You Have No Idea...
Jul. 4th, 2003 @ 11:49 pm feelin' kinda like a lobster...
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: keith sweat- twisted
so today was the fourth of july. happy fourth everyone!!! i had a great day just relaxing by my aunt's friends pool and i have a mjor sun burn... again... man why can't i just tan, nope i just turn bright red! errr... anyways, it was just great just total lounging... then myself, my aunt and her friend Imee all went to a restuarant for a quick bite to eat and then to see the fireworks... wow it was awesome... we were on a cliff overlooking the ocean and you could see down the coast to santa monica and malibu and we were in the middle in the palisades section, it was beatiful. we saw fireworks from malibu in the distance, there were fireworks from santa monica behind us, little sets of fireworks from people on the beach and then the pali high school had a big show, and it was cool because they waited for everyone else to finish and then like did a big show, it kicked ass... well i hope everyone had fun safe holidays! now... bedtime for my sun burnt ass, night all... *muah*!
...But You Have No Idea...
Jul. 3rd, 2003 @ 05:58 pm I am a fool... or so i really feel like one...
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Ashanti- Foolish... How Ironic!
well i'm kinda of annoyed right now, but ina way not surprised... so i left work 2 hours early just so i could get home at a decent hour to call john because the metro isnt the best place to be having a conversation... so i got the bus at 3:11 and didnt get home until 5:13, all so i could talk to john... so i call and i get some lady saying he went out with his friends... err it made me so mad b/c i called tuesday and he was on his way out and hes like iw ill call you tommorrow so he calls me wednesday long enough to say i'm on my way out call me tommorrow... so its tommorrow now well its turned into today and freakin i call and i make sure its at a decent hour so incase he is going out i can at least talk to him for a few mins rather than 30 seconds, so of course hes not there and i'm down on hours at work which i have to make up next week all just because i wanted to talk to him... it was kinda funny the other day but upsetting after the realization sunk in. i was talking to a girl at work about my whole thing with john and how were taking a break or whatever the hell it is for the summer a subaticle i dont fucking know and i was just talking about stuff and shes like you do too much, you make it too easy for him, shes like name 5 things hes done for you, and i stood there dumb founded and couldnt name a fucking thing, i felt like a fool... wow, its so nice when the guy you like constantly makes you feel like a fool... I'm A FOOL!!! A BIG FOOL!!! ERRR, i needed to vent, i'll try to write a more pleasant entry later... OH YEAH and how ironic that Ahanti's "Foolish" had been stuck in my head ALL DAY!!!...FOOL
...But You Have No Idea...
Jul. 1st, 2003 @ 06:58 pm All In One Day...Oh My!
Current Mood: productive
Current Music: Ja Heem- Just In Case
well i worked today... and at work i made a whole fileing drawer cabinet system fall over because i had too many drawers out at once and it went falling into the wall and putting a hole in it... so i guess you could call it a productive day! :) then i got home from work and i decided to call john... i dont know why after i wrote him last time i told him i wasnt going to call him again... but yeah, so i called, he was on his way to go out, i dont know where to, hes on a fucking island how far can he go? so he said he would call me tommorrow... i wonder if that will really happen... i hope so, and i hope we get back together when we get back to school, but i dont know i just have a feeling things are going to be weird... i hope not... i was so happy to hear his voice, i felt like such a dork... i talked to erica today which was nice, theres a slight possibility they might need someone to move into there apartment for next semester so that would be cool b/c i know all the girls who are livin' there and there cool chicks so it'd be an awesome house... yo i would takl more but i'm using the guys computer who rents a room from my aunt, he doesn't mind and all but yo his room smells like ASS and SEX and ASS so NASTY!!! anyways, oh yeah and i even learned what "toe up" means all in one day. it can be used as an adjective "Girl, she is toe up" or as an action word "Girl, what she did is so toe up", thanks Naima and Montez for the useful information! See you can knock things over, put wholes in walls, make phone calls and learn ghetto slang ALL IN ONE DAY!!! Much love, one.
...But You Have No Idea...